The End

If the Mayan calendar is to be believed, then the whole world will end on December 21, 2012. I call "Bullshit!" on yet another global hoax. What will end, however, is my Fall '12 semester's ENGL 215: Intro to Article Writing course at Penn State Abington. It's been a fun 15 weeks, but all good things must come to an end.

Time to rest, relax, and recharge the batteries in preparation for what will likely be a grueling Spring 2013 semester. But for now and the next few days, I plan to party like it's December 20, 2012! Woo-hoo!

~Andrew K.

Achieving Better Control, Part II

Saturday, December 15, 2012
Today was the second day of my diabetes educational class at Grand View Hospital. This session basically covered dietary aspects. Unfortunately, there was not enough comprehensive nutritional information discussed. The registered dietitian who conducted the class tried to keep things simple. If any of us who attended this session wanted more dietary data, we would have to register for another class that will offer such things "grocery shopping lists for diabetics" and what to look for when at the supermarket. This is the information I need, so looks like I will be attending those classes when they become available. Fortunately, my insurance pays for it.

As for today's class, here is a synopsis of what was covered:

• Sugar is not poison. In other words, sugar in food is not the reason for being diagnosed diabetic. However, one's diet should try to limit the amount of sugar.
• Need a better selection of food based on the need to fuel your body. Think of food as fuel, not just a substance for stuffing one's face.
• Amount of carbohydrates: less is best or eat with protein.
• When broken down to their basic components, carbohydrates turn to glucose in the blood; protein turns to amino acids; fat turns to cholesterol, LDL, triglycerides, etc.
• Portions are important
• Losing weight and burning fat will help control blood sugars (this means that exercise is an integral part of diabetes management, because diet alone is not enough).
• Exercise must be done in extended duration and change whenever a plateau is reached. Walking is better than running. Twenty or more minutes of physical activity is required to start burning body fat. And learning to "train" the body, not "strain" it with exercise is the best method.
• To avoid the complications of advanced Type 2 diabetes, it is vital to lower blood sugar levels to lessen or help prevent diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage).

Fiber is a key nutrient in foods. Getting 3 or more grams of fiber per serving will greatly benefit the body, not just in terms of diabetes, but also in helping lower fat levels. Foods that are rich in fiber include:

• Soluble fiber: oat bran, dried beans, dried peas, lentils, fruits
• Insoluble fiber: wheat bran, whole grains, fresh fruits, vegetables

Protein is an emergency fuel source for the body. The primary fuel source is actually carbohydrates, but it is managing these carbs that is essential for diabetics to lead a healthy life. Vitamins do not provide fuel, but they can be thought of as the "spark plugs" in the body's engine. Vitamins should be taken with food, but are not needed if eating a well-balanced meal. Eating moderately, but having a variety of foods is important to get different nutrients. In other words, don't eat the same food every day, even if it is healthy and good for you.

Basic principles of good nutrition:

• eat a variety of foods
• balance food with physical activity
• eat less fatty foods
• eat more foods with high fiber content
• eat/drink less sugar (water is best, unsweetened tea is also good)
• eat less salt and sodium
• only drink alcohol moderately (or no alcohol at all), because alcohol is pure calories with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever

Food labels and Nutrition Facts

• 30% or less fat from calories per food item
• 2,000 mg or less per day of sodium in food for those on antihypertensive medication
• 5 g of dietary fiber (or more) needed to subtract number from total carbs

One of the more interesting things I learned is that between the three types of salad dressing, Hidden Valley Original Ranch, Hidden Valley Lite Ranch, and Hidden Valley Fat-Free Ranch, the better one to have with salad---if I must have ranch dressing with my salad---is the original ranch. The reason is simple: As fat content is reduced in salad dressings, the amount of sugar goes up. So by comparing two tablespoons per serving, the Original Ranch has 2 g carbs, the Lite Ranch has 3 g carbs, and the Fat-Free has 6 g carbs. Clearly, for a diabetic, the Fat-Free with higher carb and sugar levels is the worse choice. However, if I'm having the Original Ranch, I must keep my portions limited. In other words, don't drench my salad with too much ranch dressing. Honestly, I liked the Original Ranch better anyways.

The third and final session will cover exercise and stress management. Looking forward to that class as well.

~Andrew K.

Achieving Better Control

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Today was the first day of my diabetes educational class at Grand View Hospital. It was a very informative class, the first of three. Basically, it was an introduction to the different types of diabetes and how they affect the human body. A booklet with very useful advice and instructions was given to every member who attended. Since the course is paid for by health insurance, each member also received the new Accu-Chek Nano glucose monitoring kit, the portable version which is said to be the most accurate on the market.

The course began with everyone speaking about their background and why they were taking this class. I told them my brief story. I had been diagnosed as "pre-diabetic" for about two years by my doctor, but I never fully understood or took seriously my condition. I kept eating the same junk and not exercising, while my body and health steadily declined. I told the dietitian, who was the class instructor, that my paternal grandfather, Andreas, had died from advanced stage type 2 diabetes. He had lost his eyesight, had one leg amputated, then the other. My grandmother, Theodora, his wife, had to lift him into the tub to give him a bath. She once told me that she didn't mind his blindness, but when he lost his legs, it became more difficult to help him. I told everyone in the room, now that I'm married, I cannot become such a burden to my wife, so I want to learn as much as I can to prevent diabetes from negatively altering my life forever.

So, now I await the second class to be held next Saturday. In the second class, we will discuss diet and food choices as well as how, when, and how much to eat. Apparently, it's not always what you eat, but the size of the portions. As the dietitian mentioned in the first class today, we should be eating "more of the best, less of the rest." That is to say, if you want a burger and fries, go ahead and have them, but be mindful of portions and don't eat them every single day. Load up on fruits and veggies, but limit your consumption of carbs and fats, especially sugars---sucrose, fructose, and lactose. I am sure much more will be discussed at the next session and the main reason I'm taking this course is to learn about the dietary aspects.

I mean, let's face it, I'm a picky eater who eats like a fast-food slob. If I'm going to beat diabetes, I have to turn my life around and eat more healthy foods, exercise more often, and manage stress better. Thank God, at least I have my wife to support me and make sure I stick to the game plan.

Diabetes, you haven't conquered me yet!

~Andrew K.

Teary-Eyed Movie Moments

'Tis the season for emotional manipulation...fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Okay, I admit. There are moments in movies that make me teary-eyed. For example, when Yoda passes away in Return of the Jedi. There...is...ah-nuth-er...Skyyyyy-wah-ker... aww, little green dude, don't die! So yes, I'm admitting to non-verbal weeping sessions after viewing sensitive, tear-jerking scenes in films. I have in mind two movies that contain scenes which set off the waterworks for me.

Scrooge

The first movie can be considered a musical. It stars one of my favorite actors, Albert Finney, in the title role. It's simply called "Scrooge." Normally, I don't like musicals. In fact, I hate them. When people break out into singing, it doesn't seem natural to me. I'm sure there are classic musicals that have been considered masterpieces, but I find nothing entertaining about musicals---that is to say, until I viewed Scrooge the first few times.

The acting is really superb, especially from the little boy who plays Tiny Tim (actor Richard Beaumont). In a scene where the Ghost of Christmas Present (an absolutely inspiring and memorable performance by the actor who played the role, Kenneth More) takes pajama-clad Scrooge to spy on the financially-struggling Cratchit family, Tiny Tim is encouraged to sing by his mom and sisters. Standing on a chair, he begins to sing in an angelic, choir-like voice:

On a beautiful day that I dream about

In a world I would love to see

Is a beautiful place where the sun comes out

And it shines in the sky for me

On this beautiful winter's morning

If my wish could come true somehow

Then the beautiful day that I dream about

Would be here and now

What makes this song especially sad is during a later scene, when Scrooge is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future, Bob Cratchit is seen kneeling at Tiny Tim's grave and you can hear the song being sung again lightly in the background. One phrase sums up the experience: purely heart-wrenching. If you're a man with a son or a man who has fatherly instincts and this song or scene does not make you crack a tear, then you're inhuman.

Iphigenia

The second movie is a foreign film (Greek) and simply called "Iphigenia." It was directed by Michael Cacoyannis and is basically his artistic vision of Euripides' play "Iphigenia at Aulis." I first viewed a portion of this film when it was shown in The Concepts of Tragedy course at Penn State University under the tutelage of Dr. Mistichelli. I was perhaps the only one in the class at the time who didn't need to read the subtitles, and believe me, the subtitles didn't do the movie justice as you really need to listen to the actress who played the title role (Tatiana Papamoschou). The last 30 minutes of the film are the most powerful, when Iphigenia must be sacrificed by her father Agamemnon so that her spirit is released in a gust of wind that will help the Greek warrior sail to Troy and return Helen. Irene Papas plays Iphigenia's mother, Clytaemnestra, who pleads they spare her daughter. But the deed must be done. At first, Iphigenia does not want to die and acts like a typically frightened child. Yet, when she thinks about her fate, she changes. She insists she must be sacrificed, to appease the bloodthirsty Greek warriors who want to wage war against Troy. In her one brave moment of accepting her fate, she showed more "manliness" than all the men around her and was more heroic than any of the so-called "heroes" of her father's army. Her speech---spoken in native Greek---was so moving and powerful, I wept like a baby.

I later discovered more info about the film from Dr. Mistichelli and eventually bought a copy on DVD. This is a must-own film. The last thirty minutes are too powerful to be missed. Iphigenia's courage is awe-inspiring.

So go out and rent these movies. Have a good cry. 'Tis the season for it...

~Andrew K.

To F-----

So, what am I suppose to do now? You're gone. It's been what---four, almost five years now? You left one week before my birthday. Remember? Of course you don't. You no longer have a memory. It is gone, along with you. But it's not the first time you left. Remember? It was a long time ago. We had our chat about it in the car ride up to your place in the mountains. I wept rivers that night while you squeezed the steering wheel and took long-drawn puffs from your Peter Stuyvesant brand cigarette. You weren't in front of a firing squad, just me. It was time to confess your sins, but you remained quiet. Stoic? Perhaps, but I don't give you that much credit. You just wanted to be a man about it. I spoke of you and her---how you both had your problems and how the two of you didn't mix well. I imagined it must have been like olive oil and water in a carafe. Remember? I certainly do. I can't forget, especially the sight of you---stretched out in your dining room/kitchen area with the hardwood-panel ceiling. Were you comfortable on that makeshift bed? You looked gnarled, like a branch of driftwood. I went to touch you, try and hug you, but people told me not to. I did not realize you had bleeding sores on your back. I knew our time together was limited, but did you have to go while I was taking the Pullman bus ride up north? I heard you left. You smoked your last five cigarettes, then departed. I could not accompany you on that skybound trip. Perhaps I will someday, but that day, you had to travel alone. I will miss you terribly. I do miss you. I regret all the days and moments over those six years we didn't speak and how we will never have that lost time back again to bond. I love you. I will carry on your legacy. But all that remains of you now are a few faded photographs. Fortunately, I still have the video that I took of you in better times. At least I can hear your voice---cursing and swearing like a drunken sailor and telling me to check out the asses of the girls passing by. Thanks for calling me a "flying cucumber" and especially a "lousy cocksucker," though I always had to correct you and assert that I was actually a very good "pussy-licker." Thanks for making me laugh and for the advice I will never use. I wish we had more time to talk. Just a few more words before you left. At least we had a chance to forgive each other. You are still alive to me, even if you are not.

~Andrew K.

To M-----

At what age do parents stop treating their children as children and start treating them as adults? I don't think the perception of the parent ever changes. The kid---no matter what age---will always be the parent's baby. At a young age, that actually benefits the child, but I think that a parent should change to be more like a friend when the child becomes an adult. No more "look both ways before you cross the street" type of daily advice. Just speak normally. Cut the "parent talk." Be a human being and let me know what is on your mind. Don't sit there and measure every word before you speak it---concerned because I might be negatively influenced by the language you use. Say it. It's okay. Say "fuck" or "shit" and let rip on "those damn bastards who cut me off when I was driving home"! Just be natural, but most of all, be yourself. I'm no longer a child. I am the adult you raised me to be. Remember? I never touched illicit drugs, never scarred my body with any of those nasty tattoos, never smoked or drank like an addict, never hung out with the wrong crowd---and if I did, they quickly became "ex-friends." So why do you still speak to me like I'm still a kid? Do you think I haven't learned all the lessons you taught me? I have. Now I just want you to talk to me on the same level. I don't know. Perhaps you don't want to admit to the passage of time. You're older now and I'm older. Our roles in life are quickly reversing and, someday, I will have to take care of you, when you become frail and helpless, like a newborn baby. But don't worry, I'll be there for you just like you were there for me all those years. We're family, after all. And I love you.

~Andrew K.

My Bucket List

Everyone has it. A list of things to do or accomplish before he or she kicks the proverbial bucket. This bucket list usually comprises things that we dream of doing, but for whatever reason, have not done in our lives. Perhaps knowing that our lives in this world as we know are is not eternal, we decide to tick off---one by one---each item from the list. Whether we complete the list or not isn't the point. It is acknowledging the things that make us feel alive or give our lives meaning. To do those things on our bucket list brings us closer to a life well-lived. So, the following bucket list contains (in no particular order) some of the I things that I wish to do before dying and leaving this mortal coil.

1. Skydive

Skydiving is perhaps one of the most common and often cited bucket list items, but as far as exhilarating hobbies go, this is one experience that cannot be topped or duplicated. Not even the scariest rollercoaster ride can compare to the feeling of jumping out of an airplane.

2. Run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain

If you know you're going to die soon, might as well grab the bull by the horns and enjoy your last moments on earth by having the shit scared out of you in a race down a narrow Spanish street closely followed by raging bulls looking to impale foolish tourists.

3. Dine on sumptuous, but forbidden foods

It sucks that, because of my diabetes, I cannot enjoy a hand-tossed, NY-style pizza oozing with mozzarella cheese or chomp down on a fat, juicy Texas burger or even eat some warm, freshly-baked Italian bread straight from the oven. Gotta have one last taste of the forbidden foods before I go.

4. Write an acclaimed, best-selling fiction novel

I want to be acknowledged for my writing. Maybe I could even have my book turned into a top-grossing movie. I want to write a fantasy piece that is a cross between Tolkein's The Lord of the Rings and Homer's The Odyssey. Becoming rich off the merchandizing potential wouldn't be so bad either.

5. Star in a televised comedy show

Specifically, that would be a British comedy show. I could play any character. My wit could fit any role. I was thinking more of a classic sketch comedy show, like Monty Python or Benny Hill. And whatever role or character I played, I would want it to become a hit with comedy fans. That would be my legacy.

6. Make love to a busty, Japanese model

Some names come to mind, but I'm not picky. This Asian fetish has to be satiated somehow. Either that or I really must alter my online viewing habits. Hee-hee, of course I'm kidding, my beautiful Filipina wife! I love you and this bucket list item is just for shock value---there's absolutely no truth behind it. I swear!

7. Find a yeti, get abducted by a UFO, see a ghost, etc.

Honestly, I'm getting really tired of reading about all these paranormal or extraterrestrial events happening without me being witness to any of them. Granted, they're probably not true, but if they are---heck, I want to experience at least one of them! Beam me up, Scotty!

That's all. Hopefully, I don't kick the bucket for many years and have plenty of time to complete these items.

~Andrew K.

Forever Stamps and The Letter Exchange

How long have you been mailing letters or cards for special occasions? Years, right? You would walk or travel to your local post office and buy a booklet of current rate first-class postage stamps. Tear one off, lick the back, stick it on the top right corner of your envelope and---voila! Your letter or card was ready to be delivered. Sometimes you'd wonder if you had the correct postage amount. Was it 30 or 40 cents? You weren't quite sure so why not just stick another one on there. After all, the postage cost is so cheap, right? Mailing a letter or card for under $1 seems like a bargain. Well, I guess it is. If you need the physical item, sure---you need to mail it. But if the message within the letter is the key, then E-MAILing it seems more appropriate and cheaper.

Then came the FOREVER stamps. Stamps for people who were never sure just how much the current postal rate was for a first-class stamp. Just buy a Forever Stamp and you never have to worry again. Your letter or card will automatically be accepted at the current rate. And it seems the FOREVER stamp is here to stay. I recently went to deliver some Christmas cards and I was told if they had anything other than Forever stamps. "Nope, they're all Forever stamps now," I was told by the female postal worker behind the counter. I guess that's good. Not sure what to make of it. I do like that all the stamps now are self-adhesive. I hated licking those older stamps. Just think of the diseases other people's saliva spread via envelope. And, there was a study done, someone discovered that licking the back of one postage stamp with glue earned you 1 calorie. One calorie for licking a stamp? How many points is that on WeightWatcher's Point System? But I digress.

Before e-mail became the most popular form of formal communication (before Facebook or Twitter), I was a member of a letter-writing club called The Letter Exchange. Basically, you would sign on as an anonymous member with a 5-digit "LEX" number and pay a very small fee to have your little blurb published in a thrice-yearly periodical also called The Letter Exchange. Someone, usually another member, would see your little blurb and send you a pen-pal-style letter to The Letter Exchange headquarters and they would forward your letter to the LEX number (name and address) in the system. This way, privacy was protected. If the person liked the letter or message, then they could respond directly or send another message back through The Letter Exchange with that person's LEX number. It was a different and unique way to connect with pen pals. Unfortunately, with the Internet exploding in popularity and the majority of households now owning computers and using e-mail increasing, the reality of The Letter Exchange was that it became less popular. Only older, die-hard members still remain, keeping the business and art form alive---like a dinosaur on a respirator. Younger LEX members and those interested in quicker response times (e-mail trouncing snail mail) became online users as they discovered the ease, quickness, convenience, and cost-savings of searching for "pen pals" online.

With the availability of chat rooms, Craigslist, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and other various online resources for meeting people (especially dating websites like PlentyofFish.com), it seems the art of letter writing and the need for first-class postage stamps (that won't last "forever") has faded into a bygone era---a quaint, old-fashioned time before the mighty computer and Internet became the king of all media.

~Andrew K.