My Bucket List

Everyone has it. A list of things to do or accomplish before he or she kicks the proverbial bucket. This bucket list usually comprises things that we dream of doing, but for whatever reason, have not done in our lives. Perhaps knowing that our lives in this world as we know are is not eternal, we decide to tick off---one by one---each item from the list. Whether we complete the list or not isn't the point. It is acknowledging the things that make us feel alive or give our lives meaning. To do those things on our bucket list brings us closer to a life well-lived. So, the following bucket list contains (in no particular order) some of the I things that I wish to do before dying and leaving this mortal coil.

1. Skydive

Skydiving is perhaps one of the most common and often cited bucket list items, but as far as exhilarating hobbies go, this is one experience that cannot be topped or duplicated. Not even the scariest rollercoaster ride can compare to the feeling of jumping out of an airplane.

2. Run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain

If you know you're going to die soon, might as well grab the bull by the horns and enjoy your last moments on earth by having the shit scared out of you in a race down a narrow Spanish street closely followed by raging bulls looking to impale foolish tourists.

3. Dine on sumptuous, but forbidden foods

It sucks that, because of my diabetes, I cannot enjoy a hand-tossed, NY-style pizza oozing with mozzarella cheese or chomp down on a fat, juicy Texas burger or even eat some warm, freshly-baked Italian bread straight from the oven. Gotta have one last taste of the forbidden foods before I go.

4. Write an acclaimed, best-selling fiction novel

I want to be acknowledged for my writing. Maybe I could even have my book turned into a top-grossing movie. I want to write a fantasy piece that is a cross between Tolkein's The Lord of the Rings and Homer's The Odyssey. Becoming rich off the merchandizing potential wouldn't be so bad either.

5. Star in a televised comedy show

Specifically, that would be a British comedy show. I could play any character. My wit could fit any role. I was thinking more of a classic sketch comedy show, like Monty Python or Benny Hill. And whatever role or character I played, I would want it to become a hit with comedy fans. That would be my legacy.

6. Make love to a busty, Japanese model

Some names come to mind, but I'm not picky. This Asian fetish has to be satiated somehow. Either that or I really must alter my online viewing habits. Hee-hee, of course I'm kidding, my beautiful Filipina wife! I love you and this bucket list item is just for shock value---there's absolutely no truth behind it. I swear!

7. Find a yeti, get abducted by a UFO, see a ghost, etc.

Honestly, I'm getting really tired of reading about all these paranormal or extraterrestrial events happening without me being witness to any of them. Granted, they're probably not true, but if they are---heck, I want to experience at least one of them! Beam me up, Scotty!

That's all. Hopefully, I don't kick the bucket for many years and have plenty of time to complete these items.

~Andrew K.